That. Just. Happened.

Sometimes in life things happen that are just so random and so absurd you realize you couldn’t make it up if you tried.

That’s probably what makes life so interesting and today I had a little taste of this complete randomness.

I was down in Huntington Beach covering a story. There I was, sitting on a concrete bench near the bluffs off the bike path while the photographer and videographer were doing their thing.

And here he comes. Skidding to a stop on his bike right in front of me.

A very skinny man-boy that was too tan and wearing a bracelet. A BRACELET. It was silver, it looked like one of those thick chains some idiots make the mistake of wearing around their necks.

He also spoke with an accent … sort of like a cholo except that made zero sense because he was white. I’m not going to embellish, just share our brief exchange:


Man-boy: Do you live here?

Me: No.

Man-boy: Where do you live?

Me: Irvine.

MB: Why?

Me: I don’t know.

MB: You don’t like the coast?

Me: I do.

MB: Why don’t you live here?

Me: Because I don’t.

MB: Why don’t you move away?

Me: Because I like living here.

MB: Have you always lived here?

Me: Yes.

MB: Do you think you’re cute?

Me: No.

MB: Why not?

Me: I don’t know.

MB: Do you think you’re pretty?

Me: OK, sure why not.

MB: Do you think you’re too bomb?

Me: I’m sorry, what?

MB: Do you think you’re too bomb for everyone else?

Me: Sure, why not.

MB: Take off your glasses.

Me: No.

MB: Do you like your teeth?

Me: What? Yeah they’re alright.

MB: Do you want to bone?

Me: No, but thanks for being so direct.

OCR videographer: Whoa… does that happen to you a lot?

Me: NO!

And then the skinny man-boy skidded off on his merry way.

First of all, who says bone?

Second of all, how did we go from teeth to boning?

Thirdly, what the F?!!

I shudder to think that ridiculous attempt at a pick up would actually work on some woman. If this is how it is these days, thank freaking God I’m married.

I’m still giggling.


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