Your wait is always long, you smell kind of funny and you always find a way to have at least one freak waiting in line to get a license leaving the rest of us wondering how a man wearing an all-white vinyl zip-up suit with a hood yelling to other patrons about aliens is allowed to operate a motor vehicle.
Again, I don’t make this stuff up. I’m simply not that clever.
After my first attempt to change my name, the system crashed. Two hours of my life wasted.
After my second attempt, two more hours, and the run-in with the man in the vinyl suit I thought for sure things were making progress.
I should have known the devil that is the DMV would let me down again.
Here we are almost eight weeks later and no license.
Today I find out my picture was “invalid”. The girl on the phone could offer no explanation what that might mean or how I could avoid this in the future.
Ever so helpful, as always.
She offered to make me an appointment to get me “front on the line access with no wait”. Ah… the FastPass of the bureaucracy. Thanks …. thanks a lot.
My DMV FastPass still doesn’t make up for all the time wasted but at least the man in the vinyl suit was an unexpected entertainment bonus. A close second was the child using the underside of the blue plastic chairs as monkey bars until he ate it on his face. I laughed. He didn’t cry. High five for that kid.
So … I’m legally still a Fletcher.
P.S. I was married almost a year ago.