I just received a pamphlet from my health insurance that reads on the outside “Is that a spring in your step?”
Curious, I open it to find this in ginormous letters:
“Having a baby?”
Um … what the F?! Now I’m getting it from my health insurance company? Really? Come on!
Not only is Anthem offering me “answers and support” during this pregnancy that does not yet exist but also, “rewards”. REWARDS. When I read that word, immediately I thought “Like chocolate or money?” A question that is a sure sign that I am not ready for a child.
Does my insurance have some sort of database that flags them with “30, married and clock is ticking” that they felt the need to send me this not-so-subtle reminder that yes, in fact, a baby would be the next logical step in my life.
I’ve never received anything like this before. The only thing I’ve ever received from my insurance is a bill asking for more money.
This was pretty, and inviting. I couldn’t help but open it… those sneaky bastards.
The pamphlet encouraged me to sign up for the future mothers program because, according to the pink and blue lettering, “it’s never to early to start caring for your baby”.
Yes, yes it is. It is entirely too early to start caring for my non-existent child!
I get it , world. I get it.