Ow, ow, ow

I feel like Chandler in the one where Monica tries to make him shed some lb-s.

The man couldn’t lift a coffee cup without the sweet, sweet pain of muscle soreness. Remember that episode? MonicaandChandler

If you’ve seen it, you know he complains about the incessant butt clenching Monica required him to perform at his desk.

Well, that’s what I’m doing. The clenching.  Right now.

But for different reasons.

Everything from my belly button down feels like I got smacked with a baseball bat. If I sit really still, and I mean statuesque still,  it fades.

Then my curiosity piques – have my worn-out muscles healed so quickly?

Even though I know the answer, I throw out a quick clench to test the waters.

Ow! Nope not so much. Still store as a mother f-er.

I love being sore because it means I challenged my muscles but I also hate the annoyance that comes with the dull pain. There is a very fine line between good sore and swear-off-exercise-for-a-month sore. We don’t want the latter. That’s no fun.

I think my ass is somewhere in between those two but edging on the side of good sore.

Here are my favorite tips for curing, or at least temporarily relieving, muscle soreness. Before you do these make sure you didn’t actually injure yourself otherwise this could make your pain worse.

 Get moving: Probably the worst thing you can do for sore muscles is nothing. Get some blood flowing to help speed recovery. Take an easy workout, a walk, or a leisurely bike ride. I promise it will make you feel better.

Take a soak: Grab a magazine and get in the tub. Usually I would suggest a jacuzzi but it’s freaking cold right now and the thought of exiting a jacuzzi and walking the two feet to a towel sounds painful in and of itself. Soak in hot water and if you have it, throw some Epsom salt in there to help relieve soreness.

Stretch it out: Take a yoga class, but I’d steer clear from any intense Vinyasa or Bikram class. Take an easy or moderate practice to give your gams, or whatever part of your body is mad at you, a nice good stretch.

Oil it up:  Skip the chemical-filled Ben Gays of the world and apply essential oil to sore muscles. Combine lavender and peppermint oil to get the same effect as a muscle cream and rub it in good. I do this when a particular joint or muscle is extra sore. I wouldn’t rub this oil combo all over but it’s good for spot treatment.

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